Getting the Best of Rocko

This past weekend I threw one hell of a clambake.  I wore a suit and stood next to a gorgeous lady in white; we said some things, and now we both have new jewelry and a new tax status.  Afterwards we had the kind of shindig where most of the guests don’t remember half of it because they started using the centerpiece vases as drink glasses.

The erstwhile Rocko Jerome came up from Kentucky to stand by my side.  I’ve known Rocko for years, but this was the first time we shook hands and held palaver in person.  It was a blast, though I fear I’ve ruined his taste for Louisville’s versions of cheesesteaks and cannoli.

Rocko’s a hell of a guy.  Like I’ve said, I’ve known him for years.  And through the years, I’ve had a lot of graphic fun at his expense.  I’ve been known, from time to time, to dabble in Photoshop.  Usually I do website banner work, but every now and again I like to do some fun photo manipulation.  And just like photographers and painters have their favorite subjects, I like to use Rocko when I do these things.  The cat’s just got such a unique, cool look about him, it makes for a good time.

The first one was pretty straightforward.  Back when Obama was making with the Hope and Change posters, had this thing where you could make your own stamps and such in that poster style.  I did a quick cut and paste, and ended up with this:


And that got the whole ball rolling.

As you may or may not know, Rocko is a big fan of Elvis.  The next image, then, seemed a no-brainer.  And, for the record, I’d totally listen to this.


A few months back, Rocko met a rickety-ass chair, and the encounter didn’t end well for either of them.  In the style of both The Clash AND a classic Elvis album, Rocko asked for and received this:

rocko calling

When Star Trek (2009) was released in theaters, Rocko grew Kirk-inspired sideburns.  That led to these two.  First, The Trouble With Rocko.


And that, naturally, led to Kirocko.


One day, when talking about what I can do with Photoshop, Rocko came up with a challenge.  “Hey Joe, imagine a picture with me riding a shark while shooting a flamethrower at Jackie Gleason from Smokey and the Bandit with a banner that reads FUCK THE PO-LICE!!”  I told him to time me.  Thirty minutes later, he had this.


Rocko laughed so hard, he actually had me call him so I could hear him laughing.  We were on the phone maybe twenty minutes, fifteen of which consisted him of laughing uncontrollably.

Can you blame him?


Filed under Joseph F. Berenato

4 responses to “Getting the Best of Rocko

  1. This is how lifelong friendships bloom.

    • Xander Martin

      I distinctly recall the “riding a shark while shooting a flamethrower” bit from my short time on that site, and its still great!

  2. Jackie Gleason never really recovered.

  3. When I smashed that chair, I already knew that London Calling cover would be the jam.

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